First, I will start out by saying that I am single, never married, with no children. Ideally, marriage is supposed to last forever, and, up to this point, I have never met the right woman to share this lifetime commitment.
For as long as I can remember, I have always had an interest in spanking, and I have spanked a number of my girlfriends and lady friends at some point over the years.
One thing that has led to those spankings, and what I have found to be consistent throughout the years is that, many times, women just don’t listen, or they have a tendency to sometimes think they know everything.
In my younger years, I was pretty athletic, with a muscular build, but I was never really that aggressive with women. Many times, as far as dating, women would be more attracted to my more assertive friends, while they found me a nice guy to be friends and hang out with. And it was as a friend that they would confide in me, and ask for my opinion and advice about certain things.
Now, it was in this capacity that I delivered my first spanking. After I listened to one of my female friends for what seemed like hours describing a problem she was having regarding a certain situation, she asked for my advice, and I gave it to her.
A few weeks later she came crying to me again about the same situation, and I asked her if she had done as I suggested, and she no, she decided to handle it her own way. I then told her that I wasn’t going to keep repeating this same scenario over and over again, and, I rattled off a list of things that we had gone through before, and I told her that if she came to me with any of it again, I was going to spank her. She didn’t say a word about the spanking reference, and we continued to sit there and talk, only about other topics.
Then, sure enough, one evening while we were sitting on her love seat sorting out some magazines, she said that she wanted to talk about a matter that resurfaced that I thought had been resolved a long time ago. I then ask her “What did I tell you that you would get, if we had to go though any of this again” and she replied “a spanking”, so I moved over closer to her, and motioned for her to lay across my lap, which she did.
I was actually surprised that she complied so easily. At that time, I still wasn’t that assertive with women, and if she had protested or put up any type of resistance, I would not have gone through with it.
Since I did have her across my lap, which I still couldn’t believe, I decided I would make the most of this chance to teach her a lesson, so while spanking her I told her about other behavior I expected her to correct, to see how she would react.
I didn’t spank her particularly hard, but I wanted to make sure she took it seriously, so I spanked her hard enough to elicit a few yelps, when I wanted to emphasize a point. Even though it was my first time delivering a spanking, I think I did a pretty good job of accessing how hard hard to spank her, by her reaction. During her spanking, she emphatically promised she would improve in the areas I stated, and after a short time I let her up.
After her spanking, while we were still on the love seat, she casually said that she had received her share of spankings (actually she said whuppins) while she was growing up, but she said that she didn’t think she would be getting one at her age.
After that, I actually noticed an improvement in her behavior. What I noticed most, however, was that she chose her words a lot more carefully, and she would generally sit quietly and listen more intently when we talked.
So, that was my first time spanking a grown woman. We were both around 25 at the time, and that was the only time I spanked her, though I would threaten to turn her over my knee a couple of times. Actually, in thinking back, all I really had to do sometimes ask her “Do you remember what happened your love seat?”, and that alone was enough to get her back on track.
Now, fast forward a number of years, after I had grown older, become more assertive, and moved from occasionally spanking female friends, to occasionally spanking women that I dated, for various reasons.
And keep in mind this is still before the internet, and you didn’t hear of men spanking women, except in some of the old movies, so I only looked at spanking as an occasional means to correct behavior.
There was one experience, however, that made me think that this spanking interest may go deeper.
In all of the spankings that I had administered, the woman on the receiving end had always been fully clothed, usually in jeans or a dress, and after the spanking she generally behaved better, and that would be the end of it for awhile.
One time, I was administering an over-the-knee spanking to a woman I was dating, and when I asked her if she was going to improve her behavior in a certain area, she didn’t reply. I smacked her bottom harder, and repeated the question, and again, she did not reply. I thought I might not be spanking her hard enough, so I threatened to pull down her sweatpants, and then reached inside her waist band. She then begged me not to pull them down, and the threat alone prompted her to start promising to do things I had not even brought up yet. I then gave her bottom another couple of hard smacks, and asked her if she was going to behave, and this time she replied “Yes Master”.
I paused from spanking her after that response, because it surprised me. This was not the first time I had spanked her, but I had never gotten a response anything like that from her before, and this was still prior to the internet. During the pause she turned her head slightly to try to look back at me, but I wanted her to remain focused on her spanking, so I gave her and few more hard smacks, and watched her wiggle her rear, and then I let her up.
This time, after her spanking, I decided to do something different.
I’m usually a pretty polite guy, but after we sat down for a few short seconds on the couch following her spanking, I didn’t ask, but said “Now, get me a soda.” We sat there staring at each other for a moment, and when she didn’t move, I stood up, like I was going to spank her again, and she hopped up quicker than I had seen her move before, and said “I’ll get it. I’ll get it”.
As I watched her hurry into the kitchen, it was obvious that this spanking brought out a side of her that I had never seen before. I sat back down, and when she returned from the kitchen, she opened the soda and handed it to me. It was a little thing, but I noticed that this was the first time she had ever opened a soda before giving it to me.
Still, after that spanking, I never did really follow up on giving her orders following a spanking, nor did I spank her that soundly again. You still didn’t hear about men spanking women back then, and, after I thought about it, giving her orders after spanking her made me feel like I was some sort of pervert, taking advantage of her. Eventually, we stopped dating, but remained friends, though we did not see each very often.
Then, on one occasion a couple of years later, we ran into each other at an event, and we sat down and started talking, and reflecting on old times. It was during this conversation that she really surprised me. She said “you know, I invited you over and did a lot of those things, because I knew you might spank me”.
I was flabbergasted. I had no idea. Afterall, she was by no means a shrinking violet; she spoke her mind, which by the way, sometimes got her into trouble, and she gave no indication at the time, that I could tell, that she actually wanted to be spanked.
It was not too long after this time that the internet began to gain prominence, and I started looking up spanking on the net, which led me to domestic discipline and other topics.
The more reading I did, the more I realized that I had been doing some variation of what I was reading for years, but had no context in which to put it. I was also fascinated with the various domestic discipline relationship dynamics, and the number of women who sought these types of relationships.
This, in turn, led me to explore various dd relationship dynamics online through chat and IM, and it actually allowed me to be more myself in many ways. This further confirmed that a domestic discipline based relationship is what I wanted to explore in greater depth in any future relationship I may enter.
Now, from an African-American perspective, being African-American does somewhat narrow my options, since there are fewer African- American women in the general US population, but given my experience with women in past friendships/relationships, I remain optimistic.